New Painting...

Empty in this life I have become....

this painting is awesome, and has given me an idea fo creat a painting for my friend Kevin since he sooo loved it-however it is different and differnt scheme of color-just with the sheets of music and the g cleff...

Its christmas time! I am making only a few kick ass things this year! I am making this painting, a table top stove for my couzin Maria-then this amazing wine rack for Lisa-now I must create something wonderful for Liz because actually she is so awesome!

also I want to buy something for Lynn and Nicole and jarred...Jarred is so wonderful!

also i was thinking of Chuckie and Britney maybe they could come over once next week or Justin and myself there.

Work is weak must motivate to write paper!!!

Last night justin was pulled over, and Bane was flipping out because he had to be in the back seat. Justin's registration is expired and a Homestead cop caught him, however he just gave a verbal warning-thank goodness.

I was pulled over for the first time in my life, at 17 for not having my seat belt on-actually it was on but caught in the door. the cop opened the door-then toook the seat belt out and told me to have a nice day :).

I am excited for next weekend being able to go up and see my family=I really like hanging out with my Aunt Chris-we have so much to talk about. We both love WINE and BOOKS! I am hoping to finish Getting the Girl and the life of David this weekend-so I can start on Somewhere in Time-and then move onto The Kite Runner!!!

Well i think i am going to get to working...even though there isn't to much-this protocol will take a while. I am thinking of a proposal first then my boss and I can look over it! and I can go from there-more work but the final project will be better!

Funeral draws protesters

TURBOTVILLE — One family’s somber remembrance of their beloved son and husband was marred Saturday by a loud anti-homosexual protest near the Zion Evangelical Lutheran Church in Turbotville.Funeral services with full military honors were held here for 2nd Lt. Christopher E. Loudon, 23, who died Oct. 17 in Baghdad, Iraq. Services also were held Thursday in Loudon’s hometown of Brockport.The soldier will be buried in Arlington National Cemetery.Turbotville Mayor Mark Reasner said the protesters, from the Topeka, Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church, contacted the state police at Milton and informed officers that they “were going to be there. There was no permit issued, to the best of my knowledge.”The state police then contacted the Zion Church, Reasner said. A state police spokesman at Milton confirmed the identity of the protesters and said they have made national news for their protests of military funerals across the country. The church members claim that soldiers’ deaths are a sign that God is punishing America for tolerating homosexuality.Westboro Baptist Church members planned to picket the funerals of six servicemen Saturday, including three in Pennsylvania. They are scheduled to stage a protest at the funeral of Army Sgt. 1st Class Tony Knier Tuesday at the Wellsboro Firemen’s Annex, according to a Web site. Loudon’s family and his wife, Jacey (Laidacker) Loudon of Muncy Valley, had no comment at the services. Saturday’s service was closed to the media.Several members of the armed forces and of the Patriot Guard Riders attended to show their support of the family and for Loudon’s sacrifice, and townspeople gathered around the church while services took place inside at 11 a.m.“I’m retired military and I feel strongly about supporting our troops,” said retired Army Maj. Tom Boyle of Loyalsock Township.Boyle, a veteran of the Vietnam War, held a flag and stood with about nine other people representing the Patriot Guard Riders, a collection of like-minded individuals who “attend the funeral services of fallen American heroes as invited guests of the family,” according to its Web site.“We’re here to show our respect for the sacrifice of soldiers such as 2nd Lt. Christopher E. Loudon and their families,” said ride captain Joe Zinobile of Robinson. “We’re here to support his family and other mourners.”If necessary, the Patriot Guard also would stand between Loudon’s family and friends, shielding them from interruptions created by protesters. The protesters who did stand on a street corner about two blocks from the church sang loudly and carried signs but did not approach mourners. They disbursed by 11 a.m. and were closely watched by several state police officers.Ruth Reibsome of Turbotville said she saw the protesters as she drove through town.“The only sign I saw — that just broke my heart — said ‘I hate dead soldiers,’ ” she said.Reibsome returned home to call other members of the Zion Evangelical congregation, and she and her daughter, Lori Snyder, made coffee for the Patriot Guard members who stood watch outside until the services ended at 12:30 p.m.“My heart just goes out to them,” Reibsome said of Loudon’s family.Loudon was born March 25, 1983, in DuBois, and was the son of Randy and Susan Loudon. One of his brothers, 1st Lt. Nicholas Loudon, is serving in Iraq.The deceased left for Iraq in July, as a member of the 4th Infantry Division, 2nd Platoon, C Co., out of Fort Hood, Texas.“This war is affecting families — moms and dads and spouses — not just troops,” said Sgt. 1st Class George Dalykas of Exchange.Dalykas, a U.S. Army Reservist who returned from Iraq about a year ago, heard of the protesters and came to stand for and support his fellow soldiers.“These people are ridiculous,” he said. “They don’t know how good they have it. The whole town is in an uproar.”Some called the protesters “misguided” but admitted that they had a right to speak their opinions, though that privilege comes through the sacrifice of human lives.“Our soldiers are fighting for their rights,” Dalykas said. “They are fighting and dying so people like these can come and protest. It’s their freedom.”Jinny Weidenhamer of Turbotville said she “just wanted to show my respect” for the deceased soldier. She “adopted” two young Marines who were deployed in September and are serving near the Syrian border.“I’ve been sending packages and writing letters to them,” Weidenhamer said of the two soldiers, one of whom is from McEwensville. She plans to bake cookies and make seasoned pretzels for the troops, as part of their holiday packages.

DO THESE MISGUIDED PROTESTERS KNOW THAT BECAUSE OF THAT DEAD SOLDIER THEY ARE ABLE TO STAND ON THE CONER SING THEIR DISTASTFUL SONGS, AND WAVE THEIR SIGNS....

DOD Confirmed

DoD Identifies Army Casualties
The Department of Defense announced today the death of four soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Oct. 18 in Baghdad, Iraq, of injuries suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near their vehicle. The soldiers were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 22nd Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas. Killed were: 2nd Lt. Christopher E. Loudon, 23, of Brockport, Pa. Cpl. David M. Unger, 21, of Leavenworth, Kan. Cpl. Russell G. Culbertson III, 22, of Amity, Pa. Spc. Joseph C. Dumas Jr., 25, of New Orleans. For further information related to this release the media can contact the Fort Hood public affairs office at (254) 287-9993.

The handle is greater than the event
When waiting…what will come
Who will be next

My brothers I pray for you
My sisters too…

For what will do, without you

My buddy: A HERO

Soldier with Sullivan County link killed by bomb in Iraq
By MARK MARONEY - mmaroney@sungazette.com
PHOTO PROVIDEDSlain U.S. Army 2nd Lt. Christopher E. Loudon and his wife, the former Jacey Laidacker, are seen the day Loudon graduated from Ranger training.
An Army soldier with ties to Sullivan County was killed Tuesday in Iraq, and his family is mourning his loss.U.S. Army 2nd Lt. Christopher E. Loudon, 23, of Brockport, near DuBois, will be sorely missed for his dedication as a husband and father and as a soldier fighting terrorism, his wife and mother-in-law said from their Muncy Valley-area residence Wednesday night.Loudon’s widow, the former Jacey Laidacker, 24, who lives with her mother and father, Suzanne and Larry Laidacker, described her husband as a “soul mate” and “best friend.”“Chris was the most caring, kind, strong person that I know,” she said. “I’m going to miss him every day.”Loudon, who was attached to the 4th Infantry Division based in Fort Hood, Texas, was killed by a roadside bomb that exploded as he was riding by in a Humvee on patrol in Baghdad, Suzanne Laidacker said.Three soldiers with Loudon also died in the blast, she said. She did not give their names.Army personnel declined to comment when contacted by the Sun-Gazette. The Department of Defense Web site, which lists casualties, had not posted information on Loudon as of Wednesday night.“He was looking for snipers, improvised explosive devices and knocking doors down,” Suzanne Laidacker said. Loudon was scheduled to return in December having left in July, she said.“I have two sons and a daughter and he was my third son. If I could trade places I would give up my life.”Loudon’s parents, Randy and Suzanne, live in Brockport. His brother, 1st Lt. Nicholas Loudon, 25, is a member of the 82nd Airborne and is also serving in Iraq, Suzanne Laidacker said.The distraught mother-in-law spoke about how the couple met. “He fell in love with our daughter at college and we fell in love with him,” she said.Jacey graduated from the Sullivan County School District in 2001, where her father, now retired, worked as an elementary teacher and guidance counselor. She and Loudon attended Slippery Rock University, where they met. It was “love at first sight,” Suzanne Laidacker said.Loudon enrolled in the Reserve Officers’ Training Corps in high school and college. While in high school he always thought about a military career.The two graduated from Slippery Rock University in 2005 and Loudon received his commission as a second lieutenant. He also took the rigorous Ranger training, passing the test on his initial try, Suzanne Laidacker said.She described her son-in-law as a “warrior” who “wanted to do his duty for his country.”Loudon leaves behind a 5-year-old daughter, she said.Burial is expected to include full military honors. “He will no doubt receive the Purple Heart, Bronze Star and several other medals,” Laidacker said.Friends, family and members of the Zion Lutheran Church in Turbotville, where Jacey and her mother and father worship, are providing an outpouring of community support, Laidacker said.So have employees at Kay Jewelers in the Lycoming Mall, where the widow works as a seasonal sales associate.“”We’re all pretty upset,” said Judy Coup, Kay Jewelers assistant manager. “We’re all very close here.”A special account for Loudon’s family has been set up at Sovereign Bank, and donations may be made at any branch, according to Kate Pacacha, Lycoming Mall’s director of marketing.“It is a savings account for Jacey that people can donate to,” she said.

and sometimes they die....

Sons and Daughters Video that is the ending-
and sometimes they die...

Papa

There was a boy who i went to school with, Chris Loudon "PAPA". Chris used to help me with my chemisty homework my freshman year, he was my friend.

I remember my softmore year, he was in charge the 1st or psg-and he would always get mad at me for never showing up. I remember before lab on thursday, him wearing his little running shorts and ironing his uniform.

I remember junior yr, the day i finallyl connect with everyone. Spring FTX, things to do on a rainy day. Then hitting the hill, since there was no pt the next day. All the great conversation, hanging out with Brant, Z (almost getting in a fight, with someone to just to fight.), chris, and dano. I remember sitting next to dano and smoking his clove cigar, and burning the beast. Chris and I had some awesome conversation. Then many drinking times after that.

Talking to him throughout the summer, about the handle of jack he will be bringing back. First night back at school for senior year he picks me up in his huge truck. HUGE! We go to the Hill, and get a pitcher of bluemoon, then we have 3 more. I remember going home, and waking up with Pizza all over my walls, sheets, and clothes. Chris made it home safe. but was super sick.

ahhh Chris and i had been through some serious roughspots over the summer emotionally so we let them all out. All of them...we laughed and had a great time. The next night party at the 333 rock house, we did car bombs to the 1,2,3 flogging molley song-i remember that song all the time. Him and LIsa were wrestling and she taped him in the balls, he was in so much pain but it was funny. I think Chris took 3 showers and ended up puking i gave him mouthwash in a glass and he broke that Army shoot glass.

Then Thanksgiving we worked the consession stands-and decided lets go to the BURGH and drink, we got Kristi to go, wow the southside was an amazing night-we had really good beer, really good dollar pizza slices, Chris peeded in the Alley. 10 am back to the consession stand to work, 2 games-that night we must have done something-I do not remember. But the southside crawl, was the only one I enjoyed.

Then Chris met Jacey, and everyone always hung out. Everyone wanted to spend as much time together as possible. and we did. The Tequilla willies all three times we went rocked. I hate dance clubs. The roof party, where i almost died, droped my camera, got beat up by the window and lost my growler. Then comissioning. graduation...

That summer I hung out with Loudon a few times at the Brewery in SRU, I had a wonderful time. He was always great to be around. He got married and then I saw him next in TX before he was to go to IRAQ. With his family. I had so much fun, bsing and drinking beer.

Chris really taught me to figure your life out, once you do-don't go and fuck it up, no matter what happens.

Here is a man that found himself, was able to love a real woman, and teach us to love ourselves.

For some reason we love this country so much we are in the Military, not for just a way out but for a family.

Papa!
"What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains immortal."

10/17/2006 Rest Chris your fight is over.

Deadly Month for U.S. Troops
Associated Press October 19, 2006BAGHDAD, Iraq - Eleven more U.S. troops were slain in combat, the military said Wednesday, putting October on track to be the deadliest month for U.S. forces since the siege of Fallujah nearly two years ago.
The military says the sharp increase in U.S. casualties - 70 so far this month - is tied to Ramadan and a security crackdown that has left American forces more vulnerable to attack in Baghdad and its suburbs. Muslim tenets hold that fighting a foreign occupation force during Islam's holy month puts a believer especially close to God.
As the death toll climbed for both U.S. forces and Iraqi civilians, who are being killed at a rate of 43 a day, the country's Shiite-dominated government remained under intense U.S. pressure to shut down Shiite militias.
Some members of the armed groups have fractured into uncontrolled, roaming death squads out for revenge against Sunni Arabs, the Muslim minority in Iraq who were politically and socially dominant until the fall of Saddam Hussein.
There have been growing signs in recent days of mounting strain between Washington and the wobbly government of Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, who felt compelled during a conversation with President Bush this week to seek his assurances that the Americans were not going to dump him.
Foreign Minister Hoshyar Zebari on Wednesday blamed American officials who ran Iraq before its own government took nominal control for bringing the country to the present state of chaos.
"Had our friends listened to us, we would not be where we are today," Zebari said in an interview with The Associated Press.
Asked which friends he was referring to, Zebari said:
"The Americans, the Coalition (Provision Authority), the British. OK? Because they didn't listen to us. The did exactly what they wanted to do. ... Had they listened to us, we would have been someplace else (by now), really."
It was an unusually harsh statement from Zebari, a Kurd, whose ethnic group owes much to the U.S. intervention in Iraq and for its virtual autonomy in the north of the country.
A report in Britain's Financial Times on Wednesday said the White House is now pressuring Iraqi authorities to give amnesty to Sunni insurgents. That would be a surprising change for the Bush administration, which has resisted amnesty because it could potentially include fighters who have killed American troops.
At the State Department, spokesman Tom Casey said a decision on amnesty would be left to the Iraqi government.
"I wouldn't describe our position as pressuring them to do this now or at any particular moment except at a point when they feel their national reconciliation process has gone through its appropriate steps and they're ready to move forward with it," Casey said.
Soon after taking office in May, al-Maliki proposed an amnesty for insurgents who put down their arms. But no insurgents took up the offer, and the proposal bogged down amid differences over who would be eligible. Al-Maliki said those "with blood on their hands" - either Iraqis' or American Soldiers' - would not be covered.
Despite the climbing death toll, the U.S. military claims it is making progress in taming runaway violence in the capital as it engages insurgents, militias and sectarian death squads, rounds up suspects and uncovers weapons caches and masses of stockpiled explosives.
The latest American death took place Wednesday, when a Soldier was killed after his patrol was attacked with small-arms fire south of Baghdad. Ten Americans were killed on Tuesday - nine Soldiers and a Marine - the highest single-day combat death toll for U.S. forces since Jan. 5, when 11 service members were killed across Iraq. There have been days with a higher number of U.S. deaths, but not solely from combat.
October is now on track to be the deadliest month for American forces in Iraq since November 2004, when military offenses primarily in the then-insurgent stronghold of Fallujah, 40 miles west of Baghdad, left 137 troops dead, 126 of them in combat.
"It breaks my heart because behind every casualty is somebody with tears in their eyes," Bush told ABC News in an interview. "I think the hardest part of the presidency is to meet with families who've lost their loved one."
With Iraq becoming an increasing issue in the Nov. 7 midterm elections in the United States, White House spokesman Tony Snow was asked if the rising toll would cause Bush to alter course.
"No, his strategy is to win," Snow said. "The president understands not only the difficulty of it, but he grieves for the people who have served with valor. But as everybody says correctly, we've got to win. And that comes at a cost."
The spiking American death toll has compounded a period of intense violence among Iraqis. If current trends continue, October will be the deadliest month for Iraqis since the AP began tracking deaths in April 2005. So far this month, 775 Iraqis have been killed in war-related violence, an average of 43 a day.
That compares to an average daily death toll of about 27 since April 2005. The AP count includes civilians, government officials and police and security forces, and is considered a minimum based on AP reporting. The actual number is likely higher, as many killings go unreported.
Just north of Baghdad, in the city of Balad for example, at least 95 people died in a five-day sectarian slaughter that began Friday.
On Wednesday, key tribal, religious and government officials brokered a 20-day truce in the region, hoping to work through Sunni and Shiite grievances during the cooling off period. Balad is a majority Shiite town, but is surrounded by territory that is mainly populated by Sunnis

I can't understand

For everything there is a season,And a time for every matter under heaven:A time to be born, and a time to die;A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;A time to kill, and a time to heal;A time to break down, and a time to build up;A time to weep, and a time to laugh;A time to mourn, and a time to dance;A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;A time to seek, and a time to lose;A time to keep, and a time to throw away;A time to tear, and a time to sew;A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;A time to love, and a time to hate,A time for war, and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A TIME TO DIE
A TIME TO KILL
A TIME FOR HATE
A TIME TO TEAR
A TIME TO LOSE
A TIME OF WAR....have we ever not been at war?

has this world truely even know a moment of peace?

The great Pittsburgh Population

Well, over the last few days each day when I drive past friendship park, the population seems to be growing more interesting.

Yesterday morning was the best. On the Coner of friendship Ave and Edmond St, there is a middle aged lady with a neon pink jacket and a puke green scarf. Yesterday was a warm day that didn't call for any funky weather, why the funky fashion?

On the other side of the park was an obsess woman. She was wearing gray pants with a urine color dress shirt. Now I have to comment on this ladies breasts. If you were to take your arms, bend them and put your fists into your neck, these is the style of breasts the woman had. Not only were they huge and cone shapes, it looked like she didn't invest in a proper bra, actually no bra at all. ??? Fat parking cones for boobs!

Then there is the always so special lame looking crossing guard. I fell so bad for the crossing guard, he is about 60 years old and works two hours a day. The two hours a day this man works, he has to wear this ridiculous English policemen attire. I get a laugh out of it everyday. Its Halloween at 730=830 am and 215-315pm everyday by the Catholic School in Bloomfield.

Then there is the old lady, that uses a walker to get around. She was dressed for the day, and was still sporting her rollers in her hair. I have seen this lady in various parts of Oakland, she usually wears a silver rain coat, and just crosses the street back and forth for about 20 minutes.

Oh yes then there is the crazy veteran by Dell's bar, he stands out front with a tape player welcoming and humps a picture of Mickey mouse on the door. As we walk by he states "Mickey wants it in the ear." A friend of mine says this guy is north's for wondering the streets and usually shakes and plays air guitar by another restraunt. He also says that he is a genius because he practices the first snow fall every wear.

Now you have the typical drug addicts but they are just not as fun!

I have been really trying to get back to you, even if it is a glimpse of how I once was.

I want this again. I miss it.

Friday evening meeting spent in company of friends, coffee, and the WORD.
Sunday morning meeting with a large number of believers
Daily Devotionals-writing in depth about them.
Wed night praising the lord. These were all good things. I fall in and out of this so much and when I was living back in Erie, this all had meaning I saw my purpose and began to understand the professional road I would move down. Now here I am, a home owner in pittsburgh, working at the VA (my first real job) and seeking out something more exciting. All these good things are happening that the minor things, that normaly would break me down have no effect on my dwelling state of energy.

I have another meeting with the transplant team, I have a great shot at getting this job, and I hope it is mine, I want to work and learn. I want to be so tired from day to day. I am so close to having the american dream, all I have to do is get married and paint my fence white. Niether of these tasks are impossible. Justin is the man i will marry, and my fence is wood brown.

God has given me so much, it is time for me to give back the effort and live for him. Jen

Forseen the screw

Now I know I shouldn't be mad, I know I should resolve this within myself and give it over to God, but first I need to wallow in it-before I can just turn it off.

In Dec I was hired at the VA, early Jan i had to go to obc. My time keeper here at the VA contunued to put me in as ML (military leave) and I was getting paid while I was gone, the research supervisor saw nothing wrong with it and said well it's fine. I contacted payroll many times, and guess what no answer-Idiots. So i just let it slide, now when my leave is all jacked up I call and ask about it. She does a query and realises I was coded wrong by my time keeper. WHen I call her to straighten out my leave, she acts like SHE DID NOTHING WRONG, not only did her mistake screw me over, nothing will happen to her, she will contunue to be irresponsible at her job and screw people over at their job. When I called her about my leave, I said if we are going to do this, which I have no choice then it needs to be done right. In my mind I was thinking YOU INCOMPITANT FUCK!

I have to let this go, I am now in the hole 4600 that is more than my savings, but i knew it was coming just a matter of when, since it looks like a lot of bad things tend to come at once, I wonder what is next. However, I am not going to give in to it, after today I will be over it, and I will not let this experience hold me back.

I have been interviewing for a new job. I hate my job now, and here is what I hate about it, there is nothing for me to do, well not enough and when I get work to do it isn't research work, it is an office secretary. This job will get me working 8-10 hours a day, come home and do school work and pass out! To me that sounds amazing. THis work and waste 8 hours is making me so lazy, when I am busy I am able to manage my time better.

After the incident with my time keeper, I have no desire to stay. I think I just pay back what I owe and walk away, to something better.

I finished watching the second season of House, and the last episode-IS he okay? Are they going to go into a Thrid season?

Wow it is crazy.

I am detoxing myself. I feel like crap and it makes me never want to explore the lifestyle I had all summer, work all day drink all night.

Well I have a PT test here soon-today I am going to run exactly two miles and time myself to see how much work needs done over the next few days of killing myself. I hava a PT test next saturday.

Tomorrow I am meeting with Dolly, to begin nogotinating for the house, man this is official. I feel that Justin keeps telling me this stuff about electric and gas, it should all be put in my name, I want this and I want that-we will have to do this. Like where is the money going to come from? The basement needs so much TLC to it, and a dehumidifier-which is fine-but he wants this big expensive one it seems like-HELLO WHAT IS IN THE BUDGET NOTHING. ANd I give so much money to buy him stuff, food, help out with the Bills and granted I don't have a car-I really wish i did sometimes though-he isn't budgeting anything to be able to afford the repairs on the house. so far I have put 1,000 into this house-he hasn't put anything. He spends 130 bucks for Kung Fu-that 130 could be used to put floors in each room-and by paint for the house-along with Furntature-I only blow money because I have nothing to pay bills on. Hmmm, I have more debt then he doesn it seems, but ahh-maybe I should put my bonus towards his stupid car so it is paid off. Well I dont think I would like doing that anyway. My credit card is paid off. I have about 1200 left in my old bank account. I can buy the furnature and rugs i want with that. Paint for the kitchen.

THe house is in decent shape. Just so much work needs done-Justin and I were talking about getting second jobs-I can't because I go to school-and I am having trouble meeting deadlines. This is the second week in a row I am late.

I miss typing my randominess into the computer.

What a crock of interesting lies!

The (Real) Story of Adam and Eve Composed by Unknown Author, circa 1500 B.C.E (aka Emily Mills, circa May 13, 2001 AD)Translators Note: It should be noted that the following text was translated directly from the original language of Scroll X, Classical Greek, and the author of the scroll is as of yet unknown. Carbon dating has placed the age of Scroll X at around 3500 years (composed around 1500 B.C.E), and historians are almost positive that the author was a scribe living on one of the Greek isles, though the scroll itself was found in Lower Egypt. Only one other text that appears to have been written by the same author is known have survived to this day, and the text of this scroll will be made public shortly. This scroll, Scroll X, was written in first person at times (a practice nearly unheard of at the time it was written) and in third for the majority. The account of the Creation Story appears to have been gotten through many different sources and passed down through many generations, as bits and peices of this same story have filtered down through the ages in various other places. Though the preservation of the scroll is rather remarkable, certain words have been lost, and so words within ( ) are what translators and scholars agree to be the most likely word to fit and/or the actual Greek word, of which through exact translation the meaning might be lost. And so it begins:
1. It has been told that in the beginning, the Lord God created humankind in God's own image; on one hand male, and on the other female. I have read many varied accounts of this event, all of them flawed in many essential areas. I have gone about writing this account to set the story straight, so that future generations might not be misled into thinking incorrectly about the Creation Story. And so, here now is the real story of "Adam and Eve". 2. When God decided to create an animal that might have the abilities and intellect needed to worship and serve God properly, to tend the Earth and all of its creatures, thus was created the human. God made one man and named him Adam, and one woman who was called Eve. God said unto them, I give you this garden called Eden for your home. It will supply you with everything you might need to live full and fruitful lives so that you may worship me well and serve me through the care of the Earth and all things living. God warned them, however, saying that the Tree that grew in the centre of the garden was sacred, and Adam and Eve must never eat the fruit that grew from the Tree. When Adam questioned why this must be, God answered, saying that the fruit of the tree would bring wisdom to them both, but that with this wisdom would come a heavy burden to bear--that of free will and therefor great suffering. Not wanting to fall victim to this suffering of which God spoke, Adam and Eve agreed to never eat of the fruit of the Tree. 3. And so Adam and Eve went about their simple lives, (completely) innocent and naive in nature, thinking not much of things other than food and sleep and play. Both felt a great emptiness within, however, that gnawed away at them day by day. Neither could put a name to this feeling, but simply knew that it haunted them whilst they slept and nagged at their conscience when they woke. But, so naive were they that they ignored the feeling as best they could and went about their lives as God had ordained. 4. God knew that this empty feeling existed within the humans. The Lord God, being omniscient, knew of what was to come of it, but was content to let the humans (make) this impending choice on their own, as was essential to their development. 5. God was also quite aware that Adam and Eve were not the only humans walking the Earth, for God had created another man and woman some time before the birth of Adam and Eve, but these two humans were living on opposite sides of the Garden from one another. When God had created these first humans, naming them Steve and Sara, a (miscalculation in the Plans) had made both of them sterile, therefor unable to bear any children. And so God had tried again, making Adam and Eve, who were both quite fertile and would perpetuate the race well. 6. One day, after many years had passed and Adam and Eve had brought two childern into the world--Caine and Able--Adam had gone out collecting fruit on the other side of the garden and he came upon the dwelling of Steve, the cast out human male. Amazed that there were others beside himself and Eve in the world, Adam introduced himself to Steve and the two spoke with one another for hours. On the opposite side of the garden, Eve had been picking vegetables when she stumbled upon the dwelling of Sara, and likewise had made a friend. Steve and Sara told the two their tale. 7. Steve and Sara had once been innocent and naive just as Adam and Eve. They had followed the will of God, refraining from eating of the fruit on the Tree at the centre of the Garden. They even mated to bring new life into the world as God had ordained, but alas were unable to procreate. Weeping and in despair, Steve and Sara had beseeched the Lord God to give them children as was supposed to come of their union--of which neither felt much satisfaction. So loud was their weeping, however, that Steve and Sara heard no answer, and in their grief they went to the tree at the centre of the Garden and ate of the fruit there, hoping desperately that this "wisdom" would bring them the children that God had said they should make. And when the fruit was et, a transformation came over the two humans, and they were sent into a deep and fitful slumber for seven days, during which they dreamt strange (paraphysin) things. When they awoke, they found that their nakedness made them wary and cold, and so they fashioned loinclothes out of leaves. They also found that their heads were full of thoughts and questions about the world and about themselves. They had a desire to learn about everything and to question everything around them, and they knew that this had been the "free will" and "wisdom" that God had spoken of. Elated, they sat down together to think their current situation through and discovered that neither of them really cared for the company of the other in the mating bed. Steve and Sara agreed to make their seperate dwellings at either side of the Garden so that they might ponder the world individually for a time, meeting occassionally to talk over the things that they had thought and to help gather the food they would need. 8. A year passed in this way, both Steve and Sara discovering new things every day and becoming more and more wise. They too felt a gnawing empty feeling growing within, but this was one mystery they could not seem to solve with their newfound free will and wisdom. One day, they both noticed the presence of two new humans, a male and a female, who seemed to be just as innocent and naive as they themselves had once been--only they brought children into the world--and so Steve and Sara figured that God must have tried again, and had gotten the complicated human reproductive system correct this time. 9. Steve caught sight of Adam picking fruit one day and felt a strange churning inside, slowly filling that empty space. Confused and unable to give name to this new sensation, Steve ran back to his dwelling to be away from the other male. Sara also had a similar experience when first she caught site of Eve and so the four did not meet until that day that Adam and Eve both seperately came across their counterparts dwelling. 10. And so the days passed while Adam and Steve, Eve and Sara, became better and better friends with one another, all the time each of them feeling that empty space inside slowly being filled. Adam and Eve continued to procreate, bringing many new children into the world, but they also began to learn new things from Steve and Sara's wisdom. Finally, one day, both Adam and Eve decided that it was time they too ate the fruit from the Tree at the centre of the Garden. It was not that Steve and Sara deliberately tempted them, nay, but rather that after witnessing the wisdom of the two, Adam and Eve were most curious and desired this ability to make choices and have free will. So they both met up at the tree and partook of the fruit that it bore, and they too were rendered unconscious for seven days, in which time they dreamt strange (paraphysin)things and then, when they awoke, they saw the world through new eyes. 11. And the Lord God knew that the choice had been made because of humankinds intrinsic need to exercise their free will, that this was simply a part of them and could not be avoided as God had hoped. And God had hoped this only for the sake of It's creations, that they might never know suffering and pain. But God realized also that without these things, the humans would never know true happiness and joy. And so God allowed this thing to happen, knowing that it was as it was meant to be. And God also knew that humans would do terrible things to each other and to the Earth, but that they would do so much good as well, and that it was to be up to them whether they embraced the light or the dark of their soul. But I am getting ahead of myself. 12. So Adam and Eve came to one another with new eyes, and knew that the emptiness had resulted from a great lonliness--not the sort that can be cured through friendship alone--for they loved one another in the way of (felios), of friendship, but not in the way that is necessary for humans to live full lives. And they knew where they might go to fill this emptiness, and so Adam went to Steve and Eve to Sara, and the couples joined in a union not for procreation, but for love alone, and the emptiness that each had held within their bosom for so long was vanquished. 13. And so the children of Adam and Eve grew into adulthood, and joined with one another to create more life, and so on and so on til the world was well populated with their kind--so that the joining of close kin was no longer necessary for the creation of new life. Some of the children came to know love for one of the opposite sex, and some came to know that same love as their ancestors, that of the same sex--and it was known that the gender of the person did not make for this powerful love, but rather a familiarity between souls. And when the two familiar souls would find one another, they would know the filling up of that empty space. 14. And yet, as God had foretold, with the wisdom and free will, love and joy, came the pain and suffering that is necessary to maintain balance. And the people came to know anger, jelousy, betrayal, rage, and hatred. And they murdered one another for petty reasons, and raped the land of its gifts, and persecuted people for the differences that God and those who had embraced their light came to celebrate. And amidst all of this turmoil, familiar souls were seperated from one another, and it would oftentimes take many lives for them to return to each other. And during the empty lives, the people were more prone to embrace their darkness, and so it goes. 15. So the story has been mistold for many generations. It was love and acceptance that began humankinds time on this Earth, not deceit and sin as some would have one believe. And God is certainly sullen and in despair at how some of humankind have turned away from the love and acceptance, and instead have chosen to exercise their hatred and intolerance. This is not to say, however, that the world is without the (things) of light--for some of God's creation still embrace the good, acknowledging the essential balance between dark and light, and they create wonderous things in their time, bringing glory to God Almighty every time love is expressed and felt, every time good works are wrought, every time compassion is given freely, and every time a soul finds its mate. 16. The Lord God speaks, saying: Everytime the world is at war, you are further away from Me. Everytime you speak out in hatred and intolerance towards one who is different, you are further away from Me. Yet, everytime you are at peace, do good things, and love, you are closer to Me. Do not mistake this, for there is always to be dark within the world and within your hearts, for without the dark there can be no light. But to attain such closeness to Me, you must learn to temper the dark with the light, so that the light is embraced and the darkness is always combatted. Do not despair ye when misdeeds are done, for if you truley regret and make great efforts to correct these things, then thou art closer to Me. And do not think it a sin to love; and do not be ashamed of your body which I gave thee; and do not despise that act which is a gift unto you from Me, so that you might procreate or express your love, for that is the greatest offering thou makest to Me. I say this unto you as God and Goddess Almighty, Sustainer of All Things, Amen.

Stuff I bought

http://www.buckle.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=17604&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=5&iSubCat=31&iSubSubCat=447&iViewAll=0&iViewProducts=0&iProductID=17604&sWhichLN=1&iParentProducts=0
http://www.buckle.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=17604&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=5&iSubCat=31&iSubSubCat=447&iViewAll=0&iViewProducts=0&iProductID=17604&sWhichLN=1&iParentProducts=0

Wish List


Argile socks
Invisable Monsters
Suriver (Chuck palaniuk)
Orange Candle (flavor smell)
Hazlenut coffee
Da Vinci's Man curtin (IKEA)

Cool Photos from the weekend

My Dog

That Old feeling

Last night I viewed that old feeling. This particular movie boasted about being with the one you really love, even if you don't know. It also contained what being with the wrong person does to you, and how in a minute you'll forget your married or have a commitment to someone else. I think the movie had a lot of funny parts to keep your attenshion, but it showed really shitty views on life, like adultry.

so here it is that old feeling.

everyone needs a place of land, to piece his stop, between the unwanted and want of man.

and its been so exciting. Last evening i watched the cider house rules, installed some shit on my laptop, grames will be tonight. Then Andy, Craig and Becky came over. We drank Straub sat along a fire, I cooked chicken for becky and craig and then i ate some with justin haa haa, I didn't mean to eat it-I concokced some wild mariande-pretty much i just poored a bunch of shit in bowl and began mixing it up.

this morning though-rough-at 1230 now rough. Im sure at 4 o'clock rough and 430 when i leave rough.

It was raining this morning so i got a ride to work from justin, bane got a bath this morning. Its thursday I want friday to be here.

The Cider House Rules

This movie involved a very serious plot and incuring thought to write it, it is based on a book. Most movies based off of a book are usually outstanding. The moral of this story is or more say what you get out of this movie is no matter where you are an orphanage or working on a apple farm, life is damaged. There is crime, hatred, cruelity towards others, and harm. This little boy learns the trade of being a doctor, delivering and aborting children-along with leaving all he new and working on a farm, picking apples, here he found waiting and seeing, love, being needed, honest hard work, and a co-worker harmed by her father in an inbreeding fashion.

I'm not sure what to make of this movie yet, I would like to view it again, but ahh I would also like to never see it. The movie left an imprint on me.

"good night princes of maine, good night kings of new england."

things ill be doing this summer

http://www.botanicgardenwpa.org/

flowers!
http://www.aviary.org/
Birds!
http://www.laurelcaverns.com/
Caves!!!

wine tasting at the Warhol

the southside trails for biking and blading.

:) fun atimes ahead.

Change. Change. Change

Things you think your good at, well I thought I was good at a lot of things, like singing and screaming-ha only to find out when i tried I AM terrible. So I stoped-trying to please everyone else or put myself out there more, because I was already out there in the crowd. It borught alot of thinking about am I myself, of replica's of everyone else? Did I ever do anything or like anything because someone I knew already liked it-I have gained interest in a lot of things because of other people.

Things I've done for myself that have nothing to do with influnce-be vegitarian, get tattoo's, like really old music like billie holiday, and love old movies with Dorris Day.

My brother influnced my love of metal. Hardcore was influnced by my once circle of friends. Dressing like just stupid-was my own fault. Now I like name brand crap, it sorta fits better.

This post is turning into what I didn't want it to.

just another story of progress

Deep breath. another day at work, what will really come of this. I have a little work to do nothing to stressful. I went to harrisburgh, well the area-spent most of the time in harrisburgh-Had a good time-although I can't catch up from being gone. Visiting people is gettting harder and harder as each year gains on my time, so are hang overs. I have no desire to drink, the beer fest at the sharp edge is this saterday-I want to go to the park with my puppy and rollar blade and get the house and my computer in order. That computer is a hole other story though.

Saterday becky and I are talking, and Justin got pretty upset. Then bedtime came around and he was just bizarae and stupid, I was really upset with him, especially because he woke me up. If somethings are just that important he needs to get over himself-because he knew coming in what wouldn't go.

That is what I can really say about him. Testing the waters-it got to the point where thoughts of apartment hunting began. Getting my own place just to not be around him. I like living with him and doing stuff-but geez he has to be a man baout things, and I have to be the bigger person, which I am having a hard time doing.

The caverns were spectacular, i always loved that place minus the corny stories. Also the brewhouse, I tried sushi-like fish sushi-Tuna it was really good not so good on my stomich.

Tonight I am going to clean the apartment and put my clothes away along with iron the dress shirts that are clean, then go to sleep. ha after justin gets home from kung fu he and i are either going to run or ride are bikes. Tomorrow we have to do laundry. I'd like to get up early saterday and do it, he likes to stay in bed till 10. so i guess ill write something of value with a totally different post.

I haven't used blogger in almost a year. I remeber starting this because it has so many more features than Livejournal.

I like the social part of Livejournal, just haven't explored life here i guess.
Work also have Lj blocked.

I picked this title from a boysetsfire album-The crying the screaming:my voice is being born, and it is absolutely genious for a blog username and title.

Work was busy and now it is serverly draged out, along with the fact I am stuck here until 515ish. Then my lovely walk home, I usually look forward to that walk, sometimes i am just to lazy and Justin picks me up.

Last night I went to the smiling moose, and ate some pizza. and drank some beer. I head a band American Outlaws from New Orleans. I bought the demo, first demo i have boughten-it was the only band i liked that played the hole night. I went to see tommy gutless-they were really terrible. The more and more i go to shows the more I want to just sit at home. Its so loud, I wear ear plugs and still feel deaf after I walk out of there.

Last night before bed-or while bed was happening. I said something terrible. I dont remember it, Justin told me this morning. I feel aweful. Just seems I can't be satified-and this thought has nothing to do with that situation, everything about me and him. I love him, with all that I am, but I can't show it, I can't express it-I feel that I have lost this ability of these things, and that is why I am failing. I never say the right things, seems like everything in negitive, I block what might be wrong out, and I never go back to it.

On a higer note, I am going over to Heather's house in bloomfield for some hangout time, along with packing for the great trip to Elizabethtown tomorrow. I am visiting one of my closest friends and I get to met her man, she gets to met my little dog.

My laptop was fixed now all i will have to do is get it back and place wonderful pictures from it on here! I ordered an awesome new digital camera. i am addicted to electronics and IKEA, without those I would be so bored.