the way the north star hit are eyes. then we reconsile. all the flavors forced. and the one thing i cant get out of my head. how great it sounded in faith, how lousey it acted in words. FORCED.
the truth of held, shoved. for this, us, not them-to listen.
i cant make it on my own, i come to you this hour, forcing the thought now i am never alone.
Close these eyes, and lets hold each others pride-and she the flush-of a once miracle we left to die, it was on others faith not ours, other not ours, we lost from not holding on.
so leave it at that, goodbye, tomorrow means something if given, today is power to make it another one. and the past is useless waste to press on, learn from move on, and im holding strong at your throne never alone

so true-forworded email i recieved

This is an Airman's response to Cindy Williams'editorial piece in theWashington Times about MILITARYPAY, it should be printed in all newspapers acrossAmerica.On Nov. 12, Ms Cindy Williams (from Laverne andShirley TV show) wrote a piece for the WashingtonTimes, denouncing the pay raise(s) coming servicemembers' way this year -- citing that the stated 13%wage was more than they deserve..A young airman from Hill AFB responds to her articlebelow. He ought to get a bonus for this."Ms Williams:I just had the pleasure of reading your column, "OurGIs earn enough" and I am a bit confused. Frankly, I'mwondering where this vaunted overpayment is going,because as far as I can tell, it disappears everymonth between DFAS (The Defense Finance and AccountingService)and my bank account.Checking my latest earnings statement I see that Imake $1,117.80 before taxes. After taxes, I take home$874.20. When I run that through the calculator, Icome up with an annual salary of $13,413.60 beforetaxes, and $10,490.40, after.I work in the Air Force Network Control Center where Iam part of the team responsible for a 5,000 hostcomputer network. I am involved with infrastructuresegments, specifically with Cisco Systems equipment. Aquick check under jobs for Network Technicians in theWashington, D.C area reveals a position in my careerfield, requiring three years' experience with my job.Amazingly, this job does NOT pay $13,413.60 a year.No, this job is being offered at $70,000 to $80,000per annum...I'm sure you can draw the obviousconclusions.Given the tenor of your column, I would assume thatyou NEVER had the pleasure of serving your country inher armed forces Before you take it upon yourself toonce more castigate congressional and DOD leadershipfor attempting to get the families in the military'slowest pay brackets off of WIC and food stamps, Isuggest that you join a group of deploying soldiersheaded for AFGHANISTAN; I leave the choice of servicebranch up to you.Whatever choice you make, though, opt for the SIXmonth rotation: it will guarantee you the longestpossible time away from your family and friends, thusgiving you full "deployment experience." As your groupprepares to board the plane, make sure to note thespouses and children who are saying good-bye to theirloved ones. Also take care to note that severalfamilies are still unsure of how they'll be able tomake ends meet while the primary breadwinner is gone-- obviously they've been squandering the "vast" pilesof cash the government has been giving them.Try to deploy over a major holiday; Christmas andThanksgiving are perennial favorites. And when you'reactually over there, sitting in a foxhole, shiveringagainst the cold desert night; and the flight sergeanttells you that there aren't enough people on shift torelieve you for chow, remember this: trade whateverMRE (meal-ready-to-eat) you manage to get for the tunanoodle casserole or cheese tortellini, and add Tabascoto everything. This gives some flavor. Talk to yourloved ones as often as you are permitted; it won'tnearly be long enough or often enough, but take whatyou can get and be thankful for it. You may havepicked up on the fact that I disagree with most of thepoints you present in your opened piece.But, tomorrow from KABUL, I will defend to the deathyour right to say it.You see, I am an American fighting man, a guarantor ofyour First Amendment rights and every other right youcherish. On a daily basis, my brother and sistersoldiers worldwide ensure that you and people like youcan thumb your collective nose at us, all on a salarythat is nothing short of pitiful and under conditionsthat would make most people cringe. Wehemorrhage ourbest and brightest into the private sector because wecan't offer the stability and pay of civiliancompanies.And you, Ms. Williams, have the gall to say that wemake more than we deserve? Rubbish!A1C Michael Bragg, Hill AFB AFNCCIF YOU AGREE, PLEASE PASS THIS ALONG TO AS MANY PEOPLEAS POSSIBLE AND SHOW OUR SUPPORT OF THE AMERICANFIGHTING MEN AND WOMEN. THANK YOU.

i cant stop what i am doing. and i think right now. its what i need. i cant stop reading these useless books, i am able to connect to every charcter and enjoy a different thought pattern of life.

its awesome

so is johnny cash

there is so much i want to get my hands on, so much i want to do.

I've applied for about 300 jobs, no calls back. nothing. its pretty depressing. i guess i can just wait it out. really. or maybe they don't want to even look at me until i graduate. damnit who knows. i am jelious of those who get a job right out of college, fuckers.

should i read a book tonight or get drunk? i can't decide.

this is my first change at first place.

memeries interwind my mind-like a suicide bombing.
interact-react-under act-seemless wind
in a verge
Im always ending
but when we shake hands
the new in this time
begins

each smile just like the same
the used the rest
what left
couldnt conquer a signifance

only to falter
and break best
I reach my heart to no where
and i finally feel im getting some where