What a crock of interesting lies!

The (Real) Story of Adam and Eve Composed by Unknown Author, circa 1500 B.C.E (aka Emily Mills, circa May 13, 2001 AD)Translators Note: It should be noted that the following text was translated directly from the original language of Scroll X, Classical Greek, and the author of the scroll is as of yet unknown. Carbon dating has placed the age of Scroll X at around 3500 years (composed around 1500 B.C.E), and historians are almost positive that the author was a scribe living on one of the Greek isles, though the scroll itself was found in Lower Egypt. Only one other text that appears to have been written by the same author is known have survived to this day, and the text of this scroll will be made public shortly. This scroll, Scroll X, was written in first person at times (a practice nearly unheard of at the time it was written) and in third for the majority. The account of the Creation Story appears to have been gotten through many different sources and passed down through many generations, as bits and peices of this same story have filtered down through the ages in various other places. Though the preservation of the scroll is rather remarkable, certain words have been lost, and so words within ( ) are what translators and scholars agree to be the most likely word to fit and/or the actual Greek word, of which through exact translation the meaning might be lost. And so it begins:
1. It has been told that in the beginning, the Lord God created humankind in God's own image; on one hand male, and on the other female. I have read many varied accounts of this event, all of them flawed in many essential areas. I have gone about writing this account to set the story straight, so that future generations might not be misled into thinking incorrectly about the Creation Story. And so, here now is the real story of "Adam and Eve". 2. When God decided to create an animal that might have the abilities and intellect needed to worship and serve God properly, to tend the Earth and all of its creatures, thus was created the human. God made one man and named him Adam, and one woman who was called Eve. God said unto them, I give you this garden called Eden for your home. It will supply you with everything you might need to live full and fruitful lives so that you may worship me well and serve me through the care of the Earth and all things living. God warned them, however, saying that the Tree that grew in the centre of the garden was sacred, and Adam and Eve must never eat the fruit that grew from the Tree. When Adam questioned why this must be, God answered, saying that the fruit of the tree would bring wisdom to them both, but that with this wisdom would come a heavy burden to bear--that of free will and therefor great suffering. Not wanting to fall victim to this suffering of which God spoke, Adam and Eve agreed to never eat of the fruit of the Tree. 3. And so Adam and Eve went about their simple lives, (completely) innocent and naive in nature, thinking not much of things other than food and sleep and play. Both felt a great emptiness within, however, that gnawed away at them day by day. Neither could put a name to this feeling, but simply knew that it haunted them whilst they slept and nagged at their conscience when they woke. But, so naive were they that they ignored the feeling as best they could and went about their lives as God had ordained. 4. God knew that this empty feeling existed within the humans. The Lord God, being omniscient, knew of what was to come of it, but was content to let the humans (make) this impending choice on their own, as was essential to their development. 5. God was also quite aware that Adam and Eve were not the only humans walking the Earth, for God had created another man and woman some time before the birth of Adam and Eve, but these two humans were living on opposite sides of the Garden from one another. When God had created these first humans, naming them Steve and Sara, a (miscalculation in the Plans) had made both of them sterile, therefor unable to bear any children. And so God had tried again, making Adam and Eve, who were both quite fertile and would perpetuate the race well. 6. One day, after many years had passed and Adam and Eve had brought two childern into the world--Caine and Able--Adam had gone out collecting fruit on the other side of the garden and he came upon the dwelling of Steve, the cast out human male. Amazed that there were others beside himself and Eve in the world, Adam introduced himself to Steve and the two spoke with one another for hours. On the opposite side of the garden, Eve had been picking vegetables when she stumbled upon the dwelling of Sara, and likewise had made a friend. Steve and Sara told the two their tale. 7. Steve and Sara had once been innocent and naive just as Adam and Eve. They had followed the will of God, refraining from eating of the fruit on the Tree at the centre of the Garden. They even mated to bring new life into the world as God had ordained, but alas were unable to procreate. Weeping and in despair, Steve and Sara had beseeched the Lord God to give them children as was supposed to come of their union--of which neither felt much satisfaction. So loud was their weeping, however, that Steve and Sara heard no answer, and in their grief they went to the tree at the centre of the Garden and ate of the fruit there, hoping desperately that this "wisdom" would bring them the children that God had said they should make. And when the fruit was et, a transformation came over the two humans, and they were sent into a deep and fitful slumber for seven days, during which they dreamt strange (paraphysin) things. When they awoke, they found that their nakedness made them wary and cold, and so they fashioned loinclothes out of leaves. They also found that their heads were full of thoughts and questions about the world and about themselves. They had a desire to learn about everything and to question everything around them, and they knew that this had been the "free will" and "wisdom" that God had spoken of. Elated, they sat down together to think their current situation through and discovered that neither of them really cared for the company of the other in the mating bed. Steve and Sara agreed to make their seperate dwellings at either side of the Garden so that they might ponder the world individually for a time, meeting occassionally to talk over the things that they had thought and to help gather the food they would need. 8. A year passed in this way, both Steve and Sara discovering new things every day and becoming more and more wise. They too felt a gnawing empty feeling growing within, but this was one mystery they could not seem to solve with their newfound free will and wisdom. One day, they both noticed the presence of two new humans, a male and a female, who seemed to be just as innocent and naive as they themselves had once been--only they brought children into the world--and so Steve and Sara figured that God must have tried again, and had gotten the complicated human reproductive system correct this time. 9. Steve caught sight of Adam picking fruit one day and felt a strange churning inside, slowly filling that empty space. Confused and unable to give name to this new sensation, Steve ran back to his dwelling to be away from the other male. Sara also had a similar experience when first she caught site of Eve and so the four did not meet until that day that Adam and Eve both seperately came across their counterparts dwelling. 10. And so the days passed while Adam and Steve, Eve and Sara, became better and better friends with one another, all the time each of them feeling that empty space inside slowly being filled. Adam and Eve continued to procreate, bringing many new children into the world, but they also began to learn new things from Steve and Sara's wisdom. Finally, one day, both Adam and Eve decided that it was time they too ate the fruit from the Tree at the centre of the Garden. It was not that Steve and Sara deliberately tempted them, nay, but rather that after witnessing the wisdom of the two, Adam and Eve were most curious and desired this ability to make choices and have free will. So they both met up at the tree and partook of the fruit that it bore, and they too were rendered unconscious for seven days, in which time they dreamt strange (paraphysin)things and then, when they awoke, they saw the world through new eyes. 11. And the Lord God knew that the choice had been made because of humankinds intrinsic need to exercise their free will, that this was simply a part of them and could not be avoided as God had hoped. And God had hoped this only for the sake of It's creations, that they might never know suffering and pain. But God realized also that without these things, the humans would never know true happiness and joy. And so God allowed this thing to happen, knowing that it was as it was meant to be. And God also knew that humans would do terrible things to each other and to the Earth, but that they would do so much good as well, and that it was to be up to them whether they embraced the light or the dark of their soul. But I am getting ahead of myself. 12. So Adam and Eve came to one another with new eyes, and knew that the emptiness had resulted from a great lonliness--not the sort that can be cured through friendship alone--for they loved one another in the way of (felios), of friendship, but not in the way that is necessary for humans to live full lives. And they knew where they might go to fill this emptiness, and so Adam went to Steve and Eve to Sara, and the couples joined in a union not for procreation, but for love alone, and the emptiness that each had held within their bosom for so long was vanquished. 13. And so the children of Adam and Eve grew into adulthood, and joined with one another to create more life, and so on and so on til the world was well populated with their kind--so that the joining of close kin was no longer necessary for the creation of new life. Some of the children came to know love for one of the opposite sex, and some came to know that same love as their ancestors, that of the same sex--and it was known that the gender of the person did not make for this powerful love, but rather a familiarity between souls. And when the two familiar souls would find one another, they would know the filling up of that empty space. 14. And yet, as God had foretold, with the wisdom and free will, love and joy, came the pain and suffering that is necessary to maintain balance. And the people came to know anger, jelousy, betrayal, rage, and hatred. And they murdered one another for petty reasons, and raped the land of its gifts, and persecuted people for the differences that God and those who had embraced their light came to celebrate. And amidst all of this turmoil, familiar souls were seperated from one another, and it would oftentimes take many lives for them to return to each other. And during the empty lives, the people were more prone to embrace their darkness, and so it goes. 15. So the story has been mistold for many generations. It was love and acceptance that began humankinds time on this Earth, not deceit and sin as some would have one believe. And God is certainly sullen and in despair at how some of humankind have turned away from the love and acceptance, and instead have chosen to exercise their hatred and intolerance. This is not to say, however, that the world is without the (things) of light--for some of God's creation still embrace the good, acknowledging the essential balance between dark and light, and they create wonderous things in their time, bringing glory to God Almighty every time love is expressed and felt, every time good works are wrought, every time compassion is given freely, and every time a soul finds its mate. 16. The Lord God speaks, saying: Everytime the world is at war, you are further away from Me. Everytime you speak out in hatred and intolerance towards one who is different, you are further away from Me. Yet, everytime you are at peace, do good things, and love, you are closer to Me. Do not mistake this, for there is always to be dark within the world and within your hearts, for without the dark there can be no light. But to attain such closeness to Me, you must learn to temper the dark with the light, so that the light is embraced and the darkness is always combatted. Do not despair ye when misdeeds are done, for if you truley regret and make great efforts to correct these things, then thou art closer to Me. And do not think it a sin to love; and do not be ashamed of your body which I gave thee; and do not despise that act which is a gift unto you from Me, so that you might procreate or express your love, for that is the greatest offering thou makest to Me. I say this unto you as God and Goddess Almighty, Sustainer of All Things, Amen.